I have always done my best to take care of my family in the healthiest way possible. I went out of my way to buy organic fruits and vegetables. I bought only locally-grown, antibiotic- and steroid-free meats. I made sure that each and every family member had plenty of fiber in his/her daily diet.

Well, that pretty much blew up in my face, didn't it?

The family has served notice that they will not tolerate any fiber anymore, ever.

The straw that broke the camel's back is when The Princess, looking to make some toast, could only find Double Fiber whole wheat bread in the freezer a few weeks ago.

She started crabbing about it, then Hubby jumped on the bandwagon. "Who ever heard of whole wheat noodles?"

And of course, Bro's Christmas Eve FiberOne Bar Debacle was thrown in my face, too.

So that's it. No more fiber. No more organic foods. No more whole grains. I'm done. To heck with them all.

I went to Wallyworld and bought two hundred dollars worth of crap: white bagels, debbie cakes, candy, ground beef. Crap.

Someday, when they all get constipated - or worse - they'll be begging me for wholesome food prepared lovingly by my own two hands.

Then I'll serve them Hamburger Helper.